Sunday, September 12, 2010


Apparently it is Sunday, September 12, 7:15 am. My computer told me this, as did my cell phone. It is not dark outside and it is not light outside, so I know it is either early morning or early evening. Everyone else in my house is still sleeping, so I will go with morning. Craig's truck is still here so he has not left for work. So either he has the day off and I need to get my kids up and ready for school or it is a weekend morning. He was at the kids' sports games yesterday, so I'll go with Sunday. It is cool outside, that nippy air that only comes in fall or spring. The kids just went back to school so again and yesterday's sports were soccer and football, so it must be fall.

I look at my wall calendar. It is really meant for an office but I needed something I can literally write every commitment and event on so that somebody, including me, will know what the day holds. Who needs to be where and when. Yes, I am now certain that it is September 12, a Sunday. I am also reminded that John Paul will visit the children's choir practice this morning at 9:15. Mass follows at 10:30. The NFL game schedule will likely shape the rest of the day. Oh, we have invited some friends over to watch the games.

Okay, so build out from here. John Paul will need a ride to choir. I will bring Brennan with us so the three of us can then go to Mass. The three of us need appropriate clothing. Have I done the laundry? I just checked the hamper and it is full. And my stairs to the basement are covered with more laundry. How convenient this laundry chute substitute is. Quietly I will check closets to confirm there is something to wear. And now I know I must do laundry today. I need to clean off the stairs anyways because we are having company over.

We will drive home and then I must remember to feed my family. Even though I won't be hungry, they will be. Eventually someone will beg for food and then I will know to make lunch. What time are our friends coming over? The calendar doesn't say. I will make the embarrassing phone call to ask and to ask if we have made plans for lunch, snacks, or dinner. Someone will complain that they are hungry at some point, so perhaps I will skip the call, wait for them to show up, and wing it. This will save some pride. I can always drive over to Albertsons once they get here and I have an idea of what we will need.

I also learn from the wall calendar that today is Grandparent's Day. I smile as I think about the grandparents in our lives and my heart fills with love that is mixed with sorrow. I also have a chuckle over the complexity of this day of honor, the result of mixed families. I never got the boys' cards finished so I had written all our grandparents earlier this week. Thank goodness I had made a note to myself about this special day. Currently my phone says I have 473 notes to myself, things important enough to make it to the list. I am quite sure that many important things are on that list. But I am grateful I have somehow gotten this one right. We will call my Mom and Dad, Craig's Mom, Craig's Dad and Step-Mom, and Craig's first Step-Mom. We will also call Craig's Grandmother. I make a huge note and tape it to the kitchen cabinet door so that I will remember to make these calls.

It would be helpful if Grandparents' Day was a little more promoted. Perhaps that would help me to remember. Maybe not. I should be able to remember this holiday regardless.

The fact that today is a Sunday also heralds a number of other things I will need to remember. Thank goodness that I have made a list of what must be done on every day of the week. It is much easier to use this checklist. I must also confirm that multiple alarm clocks are set correctly for tomorrow. Perhaps this week will flow more smoothly.

I will review the calendar and To Do Lists for this week, today and each day. I have set my phone alarm to sound for all scheduled commitments, from taking my kids to school, to doctors appointments, to sports practices, and all the inbetweens. Once again I will look at the overwhelming list of things I would like to get done and accept that I won't. I begin my short-list of what has to be done. I add a few hopefuls too. Most of you will know that this OCD trend has always been there. What you may not know is that it is worse, or perhaps easier, when it is simply impossible, or I forget.

I am supposed to go over to the Hutch at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance next Sunday. I have yet to firgure out care for my children, transportation and adult supervision before and after school, lunch ingredients, sports practice rides, and so on. This goes on the priority list of course. I really don't want to go to Seattle, nor can we afford it. Can't I just skip it?

It's now 7:45. It is still the morning of September 12, 2010. Today will only happen once. My calendar says it will be a good day. I hope so. I would rather remember the vague but certain conclusion that it was.


Denise said...

Wow, Sally Dearest...that's a plateful. As you usually do, you'll get through this day...and many, many more!

Mary said...

I randomly stumbled across your blog today and I'm so glad I did. I wish I had something profound to say but all I can think is wow I've been so blind to all that has been going on in your world. Rex has shared that the kids pray for you often at school and we have certainly prayed for your family but I really had no idea. I apologise for not being a better neighbor. Rex so loves John Paul and was so excited to hear that he will be joining the children's choir at church. We can certainly help with the transportation on that one. You're on your own with the laundry situation :-) Sounds like your pile rivals mine.

Sally Robertson said...

Thank you Denise and Mary. I am actually surprised that people still check my blog since I haven't been regularly writing,

Mary, please have absolutely NO guilt. We each live our own lives and everyone has their own problems. I am grateful for your support and prayers. The best thing you can do is to help John Paul's and Rex's friendship to grow. Maybe Rex can work on him about the choir. He wanted to do it but I think he actually got really nervous to go!!

Nancy B said...

I keep checking in, wondering how you are doing. Although a lot of what you are experiencing is polypharmaceutical/chemo/lack of sleep induced, rest assured that some of it is also "mommy brain". Trying to keep up with 4 people's schedules in modern times is trying even under the best of circumstances.

I am sorry that you continue to suffer in new reminds me of a soldier who survives the horror of war but loses a limb. The "phantom" pain you are experiencing sounds harrowing.I can't imagine the frustration of knowing that something used to be so easy and right there and now, at least for the time being, it's gone. How many times have you had to get used to a "new" way of doing things in the last few years? You are one of the bravest souls I may deny it because you live with the reality everyday and you just do what you have to do. But for the rest of us, you are a living miracle. I don't understand God's "plan" in all this but I do understand that you are a light to the rest of us, even when you are describing the darkest of times.