Thursday, October 27, 2011

Remembering Kathy

Today has been incredibly hectic, not unlike the last few. But as I stress over this or that, hurry here or there, set alarms as reminders, and do all the other things that have made up my crazy day, my mind and heart are never far from the memory of my friend Kathy.

Today is the anniversary of Kathy's bone marrow transplant. Hers never grafted and she was sent home to die. In three weeks, she was gone.

Sometimes I forget how lucky I really am. I become absorbed with the details of my life and fail to see the big picture. That I have cheated death. That I live when many don't. I made it through, no matter how difficult it has been and continues to be. Kathy is a good example of a good person who had something really bad happen to them. She should be here too.

When I met Kathy, she was diagnosed with leukemia the next week. Her search for a donor was very complicated and finally a less than perfect match was selected. We fundraised when her insurance money for donor search was depleted. She left for Seattle within two months of meeting her. The third month she was transplanted. The fourth month she waited. The fifth month she knew it had failed. The sixth month she was gone.

What an impact she made on me, even long before I knew of my own leukemia. I had never even heard of a stem cell transplant until she needed one. I watched her be incredibly brave, strong, and selfless. I watched her hope, dream, and accept. She went before me before I knew I would go there. But never have I had the grace that Kathy had.

Thanks, Kathy. I miss you.


Anonymous said...

Do you have survivors guilt when you think about her?

Sally Robertson said...

Yes, I do. I feel incredibly guilty that others didn't make it through. And it's awful to go through all that treatment associated with the transplant and then not survive.