Tick Tock

It's 4:44 am and I am up, again.

I don't remember the last time I went to bed and slept through the night. For some reason I can sleep without wakening if I go back to bed in the morning. I can actually sleep into the afternoon. Not particularly convenient nor conducive to family life. I have a strict policy of not napping in the day out of fear that it will only make my nighttime insomnia even worse. Plus I never seem to fully recover from the nap.

I have always been a night person, which was an asset in college but no more. Most likely it is at the center of a big ball of side effects of some medication or another. Who knows. But I never had a chronic insomnia problem before transplant.

There are a lot, and I mean a LOT, of medications out there to help a person sleep. First there are the over the counters that are marketed for sleep. There are also herbal remedies that sometimes are highly regarded. Once you finish with all of those, one starts filling scrips for sleep meds. And there are a LOT of those too. Some work this way , another that. Some start at a lower strength and can move up. Some are addictive. Well, I guess most are addictive. But do I really care when I haven't slept in days?!

I exhausted all the meds on my insurance company's formulary (For those not familiar with med speak, your insurance company has a list of drugs, for every need possible, that they will approve. If one wants to go off the list, be ready to fight for it.Of course the non-formulary scrip was denied, so my doctor and her nurse (Crystal, you seriously rock, girlfriend)appealed it. It's a bit funny because the insurance company sends a list of drugs they will cover, generic and name brand, to the doctor, encouraging her to try those. Hmmmmmm. Funny thing is that we have already tried all those, which lead to this request for a non-formulary med. So then a waste of time explaining this and providing documentation of this occurs. Insurance bullshit at its finest.

I am tired. And tired in so many ways. But for now I just want to complain about being sleep-deprived. So there. I have complained!

Now, truth or ommission? I have a HUGE, VERY IMPORTANT doctor appointment in the morning. I am scared and nervous. Perhaps I will allow a nap after that.............